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Why do so many women spend 2 years planning their wedding and zero time planning their marriage?

Answers:1   |   LastAnswerAt:2011.03  

Asked at 2011.03.31 01:04:46
I've have female friends & acquaintainces who have bored me to tears for 2 years planning every detail of their wedding, right down to matching their flower ribbons to their cake icing and the like, but after 6 months or a year they are getting divorced/separated! Do they just want to be 'princess for a day' at the wedding and if so, isn't that a bit sad? Also, some brides have admitted to me that as soon as they get the first baby, they won't care about the husband at all. What's that all about!
answer Cherrypink  Answered at 2011.03.31 01:04:46
This is a dream question!

I cannot stand women who go on and on about Weddings. It actually shocks me how absorbed some women are with the planning process. Now, I'm 24, so perhaps I am still too young to feel the urge to get married (I will one day) but I am sure that when I do, I will go abroad, with just me and my partner, possible a handful of family for the ceremony.

A marriage is about making a commitment between two people - when you think about it, its incredibly intense and so personal to say to someone that you will be with them untill you die. Why on earth do I want a roomful of people gawping at me when I say my vows?! What is romantic about that, and holding my head at a certain angle so the photos come out ok?! These women are also extremely judgemental about other people's weddings; bitching about invites, the food, the dress - always trying to outdo one another instead of genuinely being happy for each other.

I first became aware of women like this with my boyfriend's sister - she is 28, has been nagging at her boyfriend to get engaged (he says no) and - this is not a lie - she has bought wedding insurance. Insurance without an engagement. She has over 100 wedding magazines, and dreams of this day....I have a problem with this. Most obviously the let down after the wedding and honeymoon will be enormous. A day passes quickly, especially on a day like a wedding, then it's back to paying the mortgage. (I guess the next buzz is having a baby, followed by an affair.)

I know that it is common to dream of the wedding day, as princess in a carriage- but really, I look at these girls and think what values has your mother brought you up with? Find the right man and everything will be ok? Look beautiful for you wedding day and have all the attention - because that makes you special? (A lot of people's lives are so depressing that this is something to look forward to; but instead of obsessing over one day, why not do something that will make you happy for the long term future!) All that matters is who is watching? Although I hope my wedding will be nice, I am more concerned about the marriage and I think something like the birth of your first child is a million million times more special than a wedding. But for me; first; a career. It's amazing how little time you spend thinking about ribbons and napkins when you have a passion and ambition in life you have to achieve.

And as you say, people marry because it's the in thing, and a year or so later - the divorce. I think the farce of 'planning' over the top weddings only helps this. People become disillusioned with what it's really about, they get so swept away with the ceremony.

Basically - if you love someone and really really want to spend the rest of your life with them get married! But I don't think it really matters to anyone else on earth apart from you and the person your marrying. Your wedding is just a mere glitch in the diary for most of your guests. It really ISN'T the event of the century; the Beckhams already stole that crown.

While I'm here.....I have to say I have only been to one decent wedding in my life and it was one that cost a ridiculous six figures. If I have to go to one more wedding where I have to buy my own coca cola I'm going to scream....

You want me to spend my Saturday worshipping you on your wedding day? That's fine. You want a gift as selected by you on the John Lewis list..oh look, the two most expensive things are left. Fine. You want me to only wear, ok. Now, because you spent £800 hideous jewel encrusted shoes and having two inch nail extentions attached, and £2000 on a faux leather DFS sofa, I have to pay for a measly cola because it is the guests privillege to be invited in the first place? Maybe, if I have to endure this, the least you could do is buy me lunch!

Brides are so narcissistic.*

*not all of them. Just the ones you described!
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